In this work, we analyze two large-scale surveys to examine how individuals think about sharing smartphone access with romantic partners as a function of trust in relationships. We find that the majority of couples have access to each others' devices, but may have explicit or implicit boundaries on how this access is to be used. Investigating these boundaries and related social norms, we find that there is little consensus about the level of smartphone access (i.e., transparency), or lack thereof (i.e., privacy) that is desirable in romantic contexts. However, there is broad agreement that the level of access should be mutual and consensual. Most individuals understand trust to be the basis of their decisions about transparency and privacy. Furthermore, we find individuals have crossed these boundaries, violating their partners' privacy and betraying their trust. We examine how, when, why, and by whom these betrayals occur. We consider the ramifications of these boundary violations in the case of intimate partner violence. Finally, we provide recommendations for design changes to enable technological enforcement of boundaries currently enforced by trust, bringing access control in line with users' sharing preferences.
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