人生与追忆 | 一代宗师吾辈楷模神仙眷侣天堂安息

2020 年 4 月 30 日 视觉求索

一代宗师吾辈楷模

神仙眷侣天堂安息

沈向洋Harry Shum

(Tommy wrote his FB post on Jan 30, 2020, three days after Margaret passed away. With Ka Yan’s help, I translated this post to Chinese after Tom passed away on April 25, 2020. 注：原文是小Tom Huang在Margaret的追思会上的致辞。Harry在家恩的帮助下翻译的。)

Years ago, the man and woman met over a slide rule. He was one of her classmates at the university in Taiwan, in charge of selling the instruments. She reserved one, even paid him some money. But when the time came, another student delivered the slide rule.

他們的故事，是從一把計算尺開始的。他，是她台灣大學的同學，在學生會負責計算尺的銷售。她，訂了一把計算尺，定金也早已經付過了。計算尺到了以後，卻是由另一位同學送過來的。

Several months passed. Then she received a letter. The young man wanted to know whether she'd like to see a movie. She was being courted by several men, including a military officer who'd seen her dance in a performance for the troops.

好幾個月過去了，突然有一天她接到了一封信，男生邀請她一起看電影。當時已經有不少愛慕者拜倒在她的石榴裙下，包括一位看過她在慰問演出中表演舞蹈的軍官。

But the young man seemed different from the rest. Her friends checked on him. Reports came back that he was an honest man.

但是這位男生卻好像有點與衆不同。她的朋友們替她打聽過了，一致公認他的作風為人都很正派。

On the day of their date, the young man surprised her by picking her up in a rickshaw. A servant took them to the man's home. The young woman was beside herself — their first date, and he was already introducing her to his parents?

到了他們正式約會那天，她驚訝地發現男生坐着他家的人力車來接她，令她更錯愕的是，人力車直接把他們拉到他家門口。她想，難道第一次約會就要拜會他家的長輩嗎？

The man's mother was still asleep after a night of mahjong. The mother woke up, shocked that her son had brought a pretty girl home. She hurried to the market and then cooked a meal of crab meat and eggs.

到他家後，因為頭天晚上打了通宵麻將牌，男生的母親還在睡覺。剛睡醒的母親乍見兒子帶回來一位漂亮的女性朋友，趕緊到市場買菜，為他們做了美味的蟹肉芙蓉蛋。

After lunch, the young man and woman took a train from Taipei to Keelung, a port city to the northeast. They watched a movie, The Student Prince, a musical. The movie had subtitles, but the young man understood quite a bit of the English.

吃過午餐後，兩位年輕人坐火車到了位於臺北東北面不遠的基隆港，在那兒他們一同看了一場電影。許多年後，他們還記得那是一部叫「學生王子」的英語歌舞片。電影配有中文字幕，但年輕的男生好像能聽懂不少英語。

Leaving the theater, they wandered the nightscape of the city, walking up a hill. They talked for a long time, because they didn't know each other well. On the train ride home, the carriage kept lurching. The young woman hit her head on the compartment wall. The young man put his hand behind her head to protect her.

從電影院出來，他們流連在夜色中，在基隆的丘陵地上慢慢踱著步。由於彼此並不熟悉，他們聊了很久。晚上，空蕩的火車從基隆回臺北的路上開得飛快，顛簸得很厲害的車廂讓女生的頭撞上了隔間墻，年輕的男生就體貼地一直把手放在女生的頭後保護著她。

One morning, six decades later, the man and woman walk through the corridors of the assisted-living center. On most days, the man pushes the woman in a wheelchair. But today the woman walks, slowly but surely, with the help of a walker.

六十年後的一個清晨，在美國中部伊利諾州香檳鎮，護老院裏的走廊上，老先生在老太太身邊走著。通常，老太太是坐在輪椅上被老先生推著的。但今天，老太太攙著她的雙扶手助步器，緩慢而堅定地走了起來。

They pass a resident who clasps her hands above her head in a sign of victory. "You're walking!" the resident says. "How wonderful!"

一位院友在他們經過的那一刻，高高舉起她緊扣的雙手，做出勝利的姿勢，「真是太好了！」她興奮地對她説：「妳可以走起来了！」

When they return to their room, the man and woman prepare to take a nap.

午飯後，他們俩回到房間，原來打算是要小憩片刻的。

But before retiring, they begin to dance. The woman still has trouble with her balance.

但休息前，他們情不自禁跳起舞來，儘管老太太身體的平衡還不是太好。

But they are moving together, counting 1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4, their steps tracing a square.

一-二-三-四、一-二-三-四，他們一邊數著，一邊一步一步挪動著身體，走起了四方步。

And their dance becomes an embrace.

跳著跳著，他們摟著的身體逐漸擁抱起來。

And their embrace becomes a kiss.

擁抱著，他們深情地吻了起来。

懷念Margaret和Tom

陳家恩 2020年4月29日於西雅圖

從周六傍晚接到Greg的電話，一直不敢相信Tom也追隨著Margaret而去了，總希望這只是一場可以醒來的噩夢。與Tom跟Margaret可算是忘年之交，論年齡，他們是我們的長輩，論資歷，他們更是學術泰斗輩的。從二十多年前在北京跟Tom和Margaret認識以來，印象最深刻的應該就是他們那麽多年的形影不離。不管Tom到那兒開會訪問，Margaret總是陪伴在側。Tom是Margaret一輩子的「達令」，Margaret是Tom一生的「蜜糖」。年輕的時候我跟Harry特別羡慕這種神仙眷侶的生活，發願我們在事業站穩脚跟後，能像他們這樣雙宿雙栖，游歷世界。後來我們兩家有幸結伴到過許多不同的地方旅遊，包括2003年和2005年與高文教授與夫人張青在尼斯和大連之行。

It has been days since Greg’s call delivering the sad news that Tom passed away, yet I still cannot internalize the fact that both Tom and Margaret have left us. I wish so earnestly that it is just a bad dream that we can eventually wake up from. We were good friends despite our generational difference; Tom and Margaret were about the same age as my parents, and Tom was an accomplished academician. Tom and Margaret were inseparable. Margaret was there wherever Tom went, whether for conferences, academic visits, or reward ceremonies. Tom was Margaret’s “darling”, and Margaret was Tom’s “honey”. For years, we admired how deeply they were in love and aspired one day we could travel together all over the world like they did. Later on we got this wish as we had the honor to travel with Tom and Margaret, along with our other best friends Prof Wen Gao and Qing Zhang to many different places such as Nice in 2003 and Dalian in 2005.

Margaret到北京來的時候，我們去得最多的要算是紅橋市場了。Margaret對珠寶很在行，當年紅橋市場的四樓有一半是賣各類珍珠首飾的。Margaret喜歡到「夜明珠」那兒，每次去幾乎不會空手而回，偶爾也會勸我買一些，我大部分時間跟在她後面，對珍珠玉石也學會一點。年輕的我很不能理解Margaret愛買珠寶這一點，後來我發現她其實更喜歡到那兒聊聊天。她往往一坐下來就是半天，東一搭西一句，説是去討價還價買東西，其實這更像是她去體察當地風土人情的橋梁。她最後總會挑點甚麽帶走，應該是她不願意讓店家失望而已。後來她跟老闆娘熟絡了，到那兒意義就不一樣了，到那邊就是奔著看朋友而去的。

Hong Qiao Market in Beijing has a floor just for selling jewelry, with all kinds of pearls and other trinkets as far as the eye can see. Whenever Margaret visited Beijing, we would go to Hong Qiao together and she would visit Jenny at Ye Mingzhu, and not once did she leave empty handed. When I was young, I did not understand why Margaret would need another ring, another bracelet, or another necklace. She would go to Hong Qiao and haggle for hours on end, chitchatting with Jenny for whole afternoons. In the end she would always pick something, because she did not want to let people down. I later realized she went to Hong Qiao more for the social experience. Haggling was her way of connecting with the locals, the culture and by extension the city. After she got to know Jenny well, she went to Hong Qiao more often just to sit and talk, like an old friend.

Margaret也喜歡到瑞蚨祥做衣服，她做衣服愛挑舒適的布料，讓裁縫按自己的設計來做，與老師傅合作久了，做的衣服就更合意了。衣服做好了，老師傅會親自把衣服送到飯店。Margaret有著上世紀大家閨秀的派頭，她對服裝有著天生的敏銳和高雅的品味，大方又不失獨特的設計總能襯托出她優雅的氣質。她覺得女人就該活出女人的模樣，一直到晚年Margaret都留著一頭烏黑的秀髮，永遠梳理整齊。臉上雖然只簡單塗了點口紅，但皮膚白皙的她總是端莊淑賢。印象中沒有看過Margaret穿褲裝的，不管外面的氣溫多少，不管是出席重要宴會還是在山間游玩，Margaret總是搭配著不同的漂亮的裙子和高跟鞋，外搭一條真絲絲巾，或者一件合身的呢絨大衣，活脫脫就像文學作品裏走出來的女一號。

Margaret also loved to buy clothes. She liked to visit the century-old store of Refosian. She would pick a soft and silky fabric, and she always went in with her own design. She became good friends with the tailor as well, and after the dresses or qipao were made, the old tailor would hand deliver them to Margaret’s hotel. Margaret lived life like an aristocratic Chinese lady in the past century. Coupling a sharp fashion sense with impeccable taste, she loved to design simple and elegant dresses with extreme attention to detail. Margaret was unabashed in her femininity, standing out no matter the occasion. She always kept her hair long and neatly combed behind her ears. A dash of lipstick was all she wore on her face, but her fair complexion and dignified air were all that were needed to make her shine. No matter where Margaret went, she would appear in various beautiful dresses or skirts, with a pair of high heels. Perhaps wrapped under a scarf, or clothed in a long woolen waisted jacket, she always reminded me of what a heroine from an English romantic novel might look like.

Margaret喜歡逛商場。記得2013年的夏天Tom在癌症術後到西雅圖來我們家作客，與2014年的聖誕Margaret受傷初愈我們約好在香港的見面，他們的兒子Tommy都細心地陪伴在側。我們幾個就在商場裏走了一圈又一圈，我很驚訝他那五十多嵗、在美國長大的兒子有著那麽傳統的孝順與細膩的心，有耐心這樣照顧父母，或許我們那時也隱約意識到這次將會是Tom和Margaret的最後一次長途旅行，他們的健康將不再允許他們坐那麽長途的航班了。我們再上一次在香港見面是2006年，當時權龍教授剛到香港科大，當東道主邀請Tom和Margaret、馬頌德老師與吳老師夫婦、高文張青夫婦，和我們一家。席間我們有一個有趣的發現，幾家都在計算機視覺領域工作的先生，年齡恰巧相隔十歲，遂訂下一個十年之約，並慶祝Tom的八十大壽。

Margaret loved to window-shop inside malls. When she was younger this was to avoid the sun, but later on it was her way to get some exercise. We spent quite a bit of time walking in malls together in Bellevue, after Tom recovered from his cancer treatment in 2013, and in Hong Kong after Margaret recovered from her fall in 2014. On both occasions we were accompanied by their elder son Tommy. I was amazed at Tommy’s patience and attentiveness after flying 14 hours from his home in Dallas to Hong Kong. During these excursions we would walk loops of the mall, through aisles and aisles of mostly women’s clothing, and leave without having bought anything at all. But we both knew instead of the clothes, the mall was merely a backdrop for Margaret to walk, talk, and feel like herself. Perhaps deep down we wanted to indulge her, because both of us sensed, it might be the last time they could make long trips, and to Hong Kong. The previous time we were in Hong Kong together was in 2006. That time, Professor Quan Long at HKUST hosted us, Tom and Margaret, Mr and Mrs Songde Ma, and Prof and Mrs Wen Gao. We were pleasantly surprised to find out the four computer vision researchers were born exactly ten years apart. We made a plan to meet again in 2016 in Hong Kong to celebrate Tom’s 80th birthday. Unfortunately, that 2014 trip to Hong Kong was the last international trip Tom and Margaret managed to take together.

一生閲人無數的Margaret有著超乎常人的記憶力、洞察力和同理心。她對Tom周邊的朋友同事以至家屬如數家珍，能注意到很多事情的細節而許多年後還記憶猶新，她甚至能清楚記得我們甚麽時候第一次見面，當時穿甚麽衣服，説過甚麽話。Margaret每次到北京來都會給我帶一些她在國外搜到的小禮物，或許是一塊日本的手工手帕，一塊絲巾，或者是一個精緻的小錢包，物輕情誼重。我們之間有説不完的話題。她不止一次慨嘆我沒有繼續我的學術追求，平白浪費了那麽多年的教育。我一直想，要是Margaret當年選擇當一位職業女性，她的成就一定不亞於Tom。

Margaret had an exceptional memory, and she was very perceptive and empathetic. Despite the number of colleagues, friends and students she met while travelling with Tom, she knew each and every one well and cared about each of their families. She could remember every little detail in each encounter. After all these years, she could still recall where we first met, what I was wearing and what we talked about. Every time she visited us in Beijing, she took great care to bring a small but meaningful gift from her other trips, whether it was a hand-printed handkerchief from Japan, a silk scarf, or a one-of-a-kind purse. We talked for hours on end, and she felt sorry I did not pursue an academic career, despite my doctorate degree. Was she also lamenting her own sacrifice for her family? I have no doubt had Margaret chosen a career, her accomplishments would have been no less successful than Tom’s.

我們離開北京回到西雅圖後，跟Margaret見面的機會就少了很多。幸虧Margaret每個禮拜跟我通一次電話，我們互通生活上的點滴，她會告訴我Tom的身體出毛病了，或者她開車出意外了，新的寶馬汽車因為面盤更新曾經給她很大的焦慮等等。她會告訴我她每年的家庭聚會，當時她母親還健在。她們家的基因很好，我一廂情願地希望Margaret也會像她母親一樣長命百歲。她會不無自豪地告訴我她的大兒子是達拉斯日報的主編，她也會告訴我她倆小外孫和外孫女去看望他們，小家夥們的可愛軼事。後來她意外摔倒要搬到護老院後，她告訴我她復建訓練的進展，對治療師的嘉許她會感到高興，有時候也提到復建訓練的艱辛。她會告訴我護老院的飯菜不太合他們的胃口，或者她跟Tom頭天看的電影。她也會關心我們孩子的學習，替我們孩子考上心儀的大學而覺得開心。

After we left Beijing, it was not easy to find opportunities to get together. Margaret was kind enough to keep in touch over phone calls. Over our weekly calls, we would update each other of our lives. She told me about Tom’s illness, her car accident, the anxiety she got from the new generation of car technology in her BMW. She told me about her annual reunion with her own family which happened when her aging mother was still in good health. I admired her family’s good genes, and secretly wished Margaret would also live to at least a hundred, just like her mother. She would proudly mention how her older son was an Editor-in-Chief of the Dallas Morning News, and how cute her young grandchildren were. After she sustained a fall and moved to assisted living, she would tell me about her physical therapy, and how she felt encouraged if she made progress, but often that the exercises were difficult for her. She would tell me about the movie she watched with Tom together, or how she looked forward to their weekly outings to an outside restaurant. She would ask about our children, and rejoiced with us when our children got accepted by the colleges of their choice.

每次跟Margaret通話到最後，她都會很依依不捨地連續跟我説我愛你，答應下禮拜會再給我打電話。Margaret自從頭部摔傷後，晚年的身體已經大不如前了。有一次她跟我説她的腿被車門撞得皮開肉綻的，讓我在電話這邊聽得心驚膽跳。但我想她身體的毛病跟她對Tom的健康感到焦慮息息相關，她總是把Tom的幸福擺在首位，因此她後來患有經常性失眠。當時我建議她多曬太陽，白天多抽點時間到外面走走，希望身體的疲倦能幫助她入睡，但是這些建議都不是對症下藥，可能對她的焦慮一點幫助都沒有。

At the end of our calls, Margaret would keep telling me “I love you” as if there was no next time, and she would promise to call in a week. Her health had taken a downturn since her fall in 2014, and I felt terrified when she told me how much it hurt when a closing car door slammed on her leg. Even as she grew older, she always put Tom’s welfare over her own. Over the years, her anxiety over Tom’s health had kept her awake most nights, so much so she had chronic insomnia. I suggested spending more time outside during the day or some sunlight might provide some relief. But these remedies offered little help since they did not treat the root of the problem.

最後一次跟Margaret見面是去年的十一月初，那是剛入冬的一個周末，萬聖節大雪過後的周五晚上，從芝加哥開車往香檳鎮的路上氣溫只有華氏19度。我在心中模擬了我們再次重逢的情景，畢竟我們有五年沒有見面了，她這一年來聽力也衰退了不少，基本上也沒法通電話了。周六下午宏輝開車帶我們和Tom的其他學生到了護老院，Tom跟Margaret當時的精神還很不錯，對於一些昔日的種種還記得很清楚。Margaret握著我的手跟我説話，恨不得把一年多沒説的話全跟對方説完，卻又不知從何説起，她用她的頭抵著我的頭良久。我不忍去想她瘦弱的身軀最近承載了多少的肉體的打擊與心理的折磨。我知道Margaret更願意我們記住她一生對人的真誠，對生命的熱愛，和那一顆善良的心。

November 2019 was the last time we saw Tom and Margaret in person. It was a weekend in early November, and Chicago was windy as always. The dashboard on our rental car showed a frigid 19 degrees Fahrenheit on the late night drive to Champaign. I visualized how we would meet again. After all, a lot had happened since we met five years prior. Margaret’s hearing had deteriorated in the past year and we could not keep up with our calls. On Saturday, Honghui and Tom’s students at UIUC took us to their assisted living home. Both Tom and Margaret looked well, and were happy to see us. Margaret held my hands and wanted to fill me in everything in the past year. There was so much to say that it was difficult to know where to start from. She held her head against mine for a long time. I could not bear to imagine, under her frail and shrunken body, what she had endured both physically and mentally in these past years. I knew Margaret would rather we remember her genuine, passionate, and kind-hearted nature.

當天晚餐時我們一起慶祝了Tom的一個學生通過資格考試答辯，圍繞在身邊還有不少Tom的博士碩士生。Tom曾經説過「一個好的戰士要戰死於沙場，一個好的老師要盡瘁於課堂。」他用他的生命實踐了他的理念。的確，在Tom的臨終前他的兒女們組織了一場慶祝Tom輝煌一生的網絡聚會，Tom當今已經是赫赫有名、獨當一面的學生們談到Tom對他們的幫助與教誨，讓他們受益一生；Tom的學術貢獻和科學遺產，也將會讓更多的後輩受惠，只是當時我們都沒想到這同時也是一次告別儀式。Tom和Margaret能在至親的圍繞和好友的陪伴中安詳地從這個世界離開，我想他們是幸福的。

Tom dedicated his life to educating the next generation and was humble to a fault. During the Zoom call organized by their children on his last day, many of his students, now all highly acclaimed in their own colleges, recalled how modest Tom was despite his outstanding achievements, and recalled the selfless ways Tom had helped them in their career. Tom once declared, “A good soldier dies in the battlefield, and a good professor dies in the lecture hall.” He exemplified this decree, still actively advising students after already graduating over 100 PhD candidates in his career. We celebrated Tom, recalling the ways he had inspired so many over the last 60 years. We did not realize then that the celebration of Tom’s life would turn out to be his farewell as well, but we know that Tom’s academic legacy will continue to live on and inspire many more generations to come. Tom and Margaret passed away peacefully, surrounded by their beloved family and their closest friends. We are blessed to have been part of their lives.

別矣，Tom、Margaret，在天國那邊再沒有疾病與痛苦，只有平安與快樂。與其相信我們永別，我更願意相信您們在彼岸打著前站，等著我們的再次相聚。

Goodbye, Tom and Margaret. There is no illness and suffering in Heaven, only joy and peace. Instead of thinking of us having parted, I would rather believe you are keeping an eye out for us on the other side, until we meet again.